Hello fellow humans. :)
So about five weeks ago, I started working on putting my life history together from ages six to fourteen. I searched through all the pictures I have from my childhood, which is a lot, and have been trying to put them in order. It has been very weird to try to put things together and see myself throughout the years. I am finding that I don't actually remember much about from ages 8ish to 11ish. Yet, I have had emotional reactions to many of the pictures, regardless of whether I actually remember the incident in the picture.
Then it occurs to me that memories are very subjective because they are filled with emotions. It is bizarre to look back at so many years and have so many questions about whether what I thought was happening was really happening. Like looking back at times I actually remember when I was really mad. After reexamining some of those memories, I can see that I was not that mad at the incident in the photo; I was really upset about what was happening in my family.
This lead me to reconsider how I had remembered and taken so many things in my life, a process which is still happening and I suspect will continue to happen for a long time. This is seemingly and hopefully a path to clarity about my reality and my perception.
I have struggled with depression since I was 7 or 8 yet I actually feel like I might just be at the beginning of the end of that kind of life. Yes very optimistic and very hopeful. But I am not stressing nor do I intend think I am all "fixed." This can be the beginning of a life where I am learning how to see who I am and what is real and what is important.
I hope all you fantastic readers are in good spirits. Thank you for stopping by and reading my thoughts. I would love to hear what's up in your world!!
Hugs!!!
Thanks for posting Jules. You always seem like a very caring, loving person, so I worry a bit when you have not updated.
ReplyDeleteA friend who has went through a lot of struggles has said that to find peace in her life, she had to go back to the things that happened years ago and find some kind of acceptance of each. Whether through forgiving those involved, looking with a new perspective and new understanding, or realizing that though important at the time, these event do not have to control her now. Reading your recent post it reminded me of that. The thing I told her, is remember no matter what happened (and she had some horrible events) she needs to remember she lived and survived it all. So if she can survive the event, she is bigger than the memory.
My own life is great right now. Our family is moving forward. I feel good each morning and keep things in perspective. I am really enjoying my life no matter how bizarre it may seem to others. I have accepted that I am the way I am, but more important have come to see that other are as they are. I cannot change them but I do not have to pay attention to anything that may disturb me. And in many way most people have their own little twists to take care of.
I admire you and look forward to reading about your thoughts. Thanks for the post and the opportunity to share mine.
This journey through my pictures of the past is proving to be revealing and enlightening. I am still working on the project of getting a clear picture about fantasy verses reality. I will keep updating on my progress, maybe a little slow at it, though.
DeleteI am happy to hear things in your life are going well. :) It seems to me that the more we let go of what "the world" thinks and just learn to love ourselves as who we really are, not the person others' influence have influenced us to be. Hope that came out clearly. ?
Thank you sooo much for taking the time to read and comment!
You rock! Hope all is well and peaceful. :) Hugs!
I think that came out quite clear and is what I was trying to say too. To put it simpler with less explanation. We need to love the person we really are, not worry about the person others decide we are.
DeleteHi Jules
ReplyDeleteHope all is well with you. This has been a good fall for me and my life is going well. I have started reading books again. I have pick books with a funny twist to them and I have really enjoyed this. I use to read a lot years ago and kind of moved away from it.
Anyhow, just hoping things are good with you too!
Mike,
DeleteThank you SO much for taking the time to show you care! I am so glad to hear you are doing well. I am sorry that I took so long to respond. Kind of part of the stuff I am learning I want to change about myself.
I love reading and read a lot of books. So happy to hear you are getting into reading again. Hopefully that is still something you are enjoying.
Take care!! Hugs!!
Hi Jules,
ReplyDeleteBeen thinking about you and wondering how you are.
xx Halle