Thursday, September 4, 2014
I just looked back at my posts and found that I have not done a post entirely dedicated to avoiding, which I find ironic. Of course, I would avoid writing about my avoiding. Many time I have said to myself that I am not good at anything but I was so wrong! I am fantastic at avoiding. It is something I have practiced since I was eight, and a practice I have held onto with a death grip ever since.
I avoid many things but most importantly, I avoid looking at myself and seeing the whole of me. I only want to look at the good side of me and never the bad side of me. The bad side of me has a good sized list of things I have and haven't done that are distasteful and mean so I push it away.
It seems to me that this is the main source of my depression. If I will not look at the whole of me, I cannot change anything that makes me feel bad about myself. As of now, I have not been willing to really look at myself and thus change. This is ruining me yet . . . I do nothing.
Yeah pretty good at avoiding , huh?
Do you avoid also? How do you deal with it?
It is safe to say that avoiding things about yourself you don't like isn't going to help.
Let's all pledge to stop avoiding what needs to be addressed. I know, it seems hard, yet I bet you are like me (if you are an avoider) and you are making it more complicated than it really is in reality. I know I will struggle with this because I make things more complicated than they really are yet I can see the writing on the wall; its not what I want for my future. Thus I must stop avoiding. Period.
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So, I know this is going to sound lame Jules so you can reply "That is so lame Halle" and I won't be offended.ReplyDelete
When there is something I suck at, like procrastinating, instead of resolving to get rid of the problem, I resolve to do something positive. Just one step and I say it positively.
For example never "don't forget to fix up the garden" but instead "remember to weed that flower bed" (just that one, not all of them and cut the grass and trim and...
Thinking of the activity as one positive part is what I will accomplish. Using a negative and berating myself as I do it almost assures a negative result.
Does any of that make sense, or is it really, really confusing and l...? :)
Halle, that totally makes sense. I am going to practice that and see how it works out. And it's simple, which is good because I always try to complicate things and then don't succeed because it seems insurmountable. Thank you giving me this suggestion. :) :)ReplyDelete