Sunday, May 31, 2015

Leg Surgery

My leg with the plate and screws before  surgery.

Well I finally had the surgery to remove the plate and 10 or so screws from my leg. I have been aware that I would have this surgery from almost the time I had the first one to fix my broken leg. Its weird to know that you are voluntarily going into surgery that will cause you to be down for a while. I went in last Friday morning, had surgery about noonish, and was home by 3 in the afternoon.

As you can see, my leg is wrapped up pretty good. I cannot put any weight on that leg for the next 10 to 14 days. I have to wait until the surgeon takes out the staples. I am on crutches until then.

So I was really nervous and scared when I went into the hospital on Friday morning. I had talked to my surgeon about the surgery, I had exercised to get myself ready for surgery, and I even used the internet to look up what would happen during surgery. Yet I was still kind of freaking out on Friday morning at the hospital.

But life provided me with the best "let it go" situation. I checked into the hospital at 7:30 and had an IV in by 8:10. I was scheduled to have surgery around 9:30, but 9:30 came and went, as did 10:30, and 11:30. Having to wait so long really got me annoyed. Which in turn, took my mind off being scared and made it so that when it was time to have surgery, I was really ready to go. I asked what was going on and they said I was scheduled to be my doctor's second surgery of the day, but for some unknown reason, he chose to put some else's surgery in front of mine.

I finally got to go to surgery and asked the surgery nurse if I could have a screw from my leg. She actually said yes.:)

This time, unlike the surgery after I broke my leg, I was fully aware as I was wheeled into the surgery room and as they prepped me for surgery.  It was an odd: the big surgery lights, people moving around me as they strapped me down to the arm tables they use (its kind of like being on a cross- I know, weird comparison but true.) Then came the anesthesia and before I knew anything, I was waking up in a recovery area.

Yes, that is one of the screws that was in my leg.

So that was Friday and its Sunday now. I am healing up, and my leg hurt pretty bad yesterday. But today its feeling a lot better. I am trying to keep myself busy by reading, exercising (however I can), and learning Spanish (or at least trying.) 

Alrighty, I'll keep y'all updated. :) Hope is all well with you! HUGS!!!

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Being Wrong

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I read a quote once that stated that being an adult is the knowing you have the right  to be right but also the right to be wrong. This is something I have not been willing to accept. I do not like being wrong and I fight with my husband to show that I am never wrong. As I've gotten older, I've been willing to say the words, "I am wrong." But I don't follow those words with actions that show I truly believe that I was wrong. In reality, if someone believes they have been wrong, then their actions follow with different choices.

What keeps me from seeing my own faults and admitting when I am wrong on my own or even when others are loving enough to point it out?

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Such a small word that carries big influence. I did not see this in myself; luckily, I have a husband who loves me enough to talk about what he has seen over the past 28 years that will help me. I do have a big ego. Overall, I act in ways that show I think  there is nothing wrong with me. I will start something that has the potential to help me and then stop because I think I've got it and don't need to do that any more, like scheduling. I get wrapped up in myself and go with the same kind of thinking that got me into the place I am now and have been for a long time. Which is, I am fine and don't need to change anything; I just need to try harder because what I am doing must be fine because I am doing it. (See the ego!?)😳

Well, trying harder has gotten to a place of frustration and failure. I have a body I'm not happy with, a marriage that is not going well, and a career that I know I could be doing better at.

I have gone back to scheduling my life as it did help when I did it for 6 weeks before I gave up. My biggest issue in life is starting things and not following through with it to a point that I benefit from it.  But this time I have added a few elements. I've been scheduling for the past week and today I added two things to my folder. In the front, with my monthly calender, I added a check list of all the things I want to achieve on a consistant basis, things like household chores to things like suggesting new sex ideas.  Here I plan to and have started recording each week which things I have addressed and when.  I also added at the back of my folder a list of the big important aspects to life, like marriage health and body health, why I want each of those things  and what things I might say to myself to sabotage  myself. Things like: it's not that important, I'm too tired, I don't really care, I'll want comfort food, ect.

I said to my husband this morning that I just want to get on with my life and I wholey believe  this is true. But if I can't get my shit together, I will never get in with my life.

I'll keep you updated I this. ☺️

In another note, I have been going to the cross fit gym for the past 2 1/2 weeks and although it is an ass kicker, I am enjoying it and will continue to go until two days  before my surgery. Surgery is in 12 days (and counting.)

Hope you are all well and thank you for stopping by!   Hugs!!!

Saturday, May 2, 2015

Body Update :)

I visited my surgeon last Monday and set up the surgery to have the plate and screws removed from my leg, which is no small surgery. I will under the knife :) May 29th.

If you are new to the blog, a little back ground. August 31, 2013, I went dove hunting with my husband and a bunch of other hunters. I shot a bird, and it glided down a small ravine. As I went down to get it, a rattle snake lunged out at me. I stumbled and fell down into the ravine. As I fell, I hit the top of my left tibia on a bolder and shattered it. (At least, that's what I've pieced together because I do not remember anything in between the snake and becoming aware upside down at the bottom of the ravine.) I had surgery the next morning where the surgeon put in a steel pate and 10-15 screws. For the next 2 months, I did not walk. Then I went through physical therapy for the next 6 months to relearn to walk and regain strength in my leg, which had atrophied and become flat. I was off work for 4 months. Since then, I have gradually gained more and more strength and flexibility and am now walking normal, 98% of the time.

I have known this surgery is coming since a few weeks after the first surgery. My surgeon explained that because he had to use surgical steel, I would need to have it removed because I am young enough that the steel might "rust" over time and put toxins in my body. He informed me he wanted to take the hardware out in the summer of 2015. And its almost summer 2015 so in I went to get my appointment to have my leg cut open again.

Okay so to the real point of this post; I started at a gym last Wednesday. Well, its sort of a gym; its one of those new cross-fit workout places.  I am really not a workout with other people kind of person but this seems like the best idea for me right now. As the appointment came closer to meet with the surgeon, my husband and I were talking about questions we should ask the surgeon. One question I had was will I need physical therapy after this surgery. My husband said he had read that pre-surgery therapy really helps recovery. So I decided to start going to cross fit place a couple of my friends have gone to in the past.

Below are the pictures I took the night before I started the cross fit place.


I have lost about 20 of the 30 pounds I gained after I broke my leg. But I still have 25 more pounds to lose. When I broke my leg, I was 15 pounds over the weight I like to be. But really, going to this exercising place is about getting my body and leg stronger before I go in to have surgery. I should have done this a year ago, but at this point, better later than never. Hopefully, weight lose will be a side effect of working out so much. I am planning on going 4 days a week for the next 4 weeks. Then surgery!

I have gone twice now and am SORE! The first day was a core only workout, and the second day was called total body burn. I hurt all over yet am really glad I went and worked as hard as I could. As I continue to go, I will keep you updated on how I look and feel. So far, I feel stronger and sore. :)

Okay I hope you are all doing well! :)