Have you ever considered how you organize your life and get all the things done you need and want to accomplish? I don't know if the average adult really considers this or if it is deliberate for real adults. Honestly, I don't really know; I am not a responsible adult. I'm 43 and I have a career and a marriage and a house and pets etc. But I have not spent time learning how to manage the responsibilities that come from being married, from having a career, from owning a home, from owning pets, from being a healthy adult.
If you are a responsible, successful adult, you probably organize your life in some way: lists, scheduling, long term plans, shorts term plans, etc. I mostly have been living day by day and trying to remember all the things I want and need to do and that has gotten very tiring, and very annoying. I always feel like I am a loser because inevitably, I forget something. Yet I have been very resistant to scheduling and making lists, primarily because I have associated those activities with my mom and haven't wanted to be like her. (So not logical, but it is what it is.) I so desire the end results of using a schedule and listing but haven't really wanted to put in the time, energy, and effort required to get to those end results.
So once again I am trying to get a grip on what it means to be an adult and am trying to list and schedule out as many things as possible. I have started and continue to work on a master list of all the things I want and need to do, am making a basic daily schedule, and am working on following through with the things I put on my list and schedule. Having done this before, and started again just recently, I can see that it is very important that I prioritize my daily activities by how much they are stressing me out, or what I seem to see as the "hard" stuff.
If I can get to the really stressful items first in each day, then maybe my brain will be free to look for more opportunities and experiences, instead of it running circles trying to figure out when I at going to get the "hard" stuff done, or what am I missing.
Hugs!! Hope you are well!
I started writing this comment to post with your previous post. But could never find the words to convey what I was trying to say. So often it is events in our past that effect us in the future. how different could your life have been had the search never happened. I also think it is wrong when a family bottles things up. My mother and father had issues in their marriage too. The stress hung in the air. Then one day Mom opened up. Told us if it was not for us kids, she would have left. We talked for a long time. About our lives, feelings and bared our dirty laundry. In the end I realized that it was her love for us that held her together. Maybe your mother felt some of these same feelings.
ReplyDeleteFrom what you wrote I can tell you have had other issues with your mother and the relationship is stressed. But make your lists. Trust me it gets harder as you get older to keep things straight with out lists. List making will not turn you into your mother.
A final thought in my silly little head, I have read a daughter grows up when she realizes her mother was not always right. The daughter is grown up when she realizes her mother was not always wrong.
Take Care Jules.
Wow that was a powerful commenting! Thanks! You are dfinately making me think and that is always a good thing. I do see that growing up involves seeing things through a different light. Seeing that not everything was as bad as it seemed (my mom being a neat freak) and that some things that seemed benign were more important and should not have been ignored (my mom moving into her own room when I was 7-8 ish).
DeleteI mentioned a few posts ago that I was working on a picture timeline, and that was in hopes to see some things I just hadn't been willing or able to see. I did that for 4 or 5 months, just to see my own "quilt". It was definately eye opening. I have still not figured out all that I need to do to help myself be the person I see that I could be, but I am definitely more aware of who I've been, and thus, who I continue to be mostly.
I have never heard of the picture idea, but it sounds very interesting. It is a great idea in that it should bring back memories and put things, both good and bad, in perpective. I am very interested in how it works for you.
DeleteTake Care
I am inspired by your interested and so I am writing a post about the picture quilt with pictures of what it actually looks like. Thanks so much for reading and leaving such thoughtful comments!
DeleteI am truly looking very forward to this!
ReplyDelete