Its good for you!
Remember hearing that when you were young? I sure do. My parents often told me I should do something because it was good for me. I am not great with doing what's good for me; really, hearing that, whether I say it to myself or someone else does, makes me want to run to the opposite extreme, almost all the time. I know, I've got some issues. But its the truth, and I am clear about this in myself.
So recently, I came across an article about the results of repressing anger in childhood and a kind of self help therapy that seems to change people's lives. It was written by a neuroscientist, and I thought it made sense so I started to do it. I call it punch/yell therapy. Basically, I go into my guest room and hit the bed and yell at my parents' mistakes that hurt me so badly. I yell and hit about them living in separate rooms, about pretending everything was okay, about ignoring me yet micromanaging my world, and then, I feel a little better. Sometimes, I am embarrassed to do it or angry that I must do it to help myself, but I have just decided to do it each time. Its good for me. :)
It has made me reflect on other areas of my life and how I am avoiding doing what's good for me. Rolling things around in my head; trying to get a bead on things.
Do you also avoid doing what's good for you?
Why do you think you do it?
Hope you all are well and trying to challenge yourself in some way, no matter how small. :)
Hugs!!
I don't know if I actually avoid doing what is good for me but I definitely do a lot that is probably not good for me. As the song says 'Everything that kills me - makes me feel alive' It often seems the things that I like to do often play me out. I love to help others so I spend a lot of time volunteering. Often this takes away from time I should be doing what I need to do. Another things that is not so good for me, is that I like to self medicate with alcohol to calm down and relax. I don't think I am an alcoholic (yet). I sometimes go 4 days without anything to drink, but I often have a glass or 2 of wine or something else (mostly wine) in the evening.
ReplyDeleteI understand where you are coming from Jules. You have someone to focus your anger on and definite incidences in your life that you can see had an effect on how your life progressed. But I don't have that. I am just kind of a strange person. Maybe I was born this way? Mixed up and confused when it comes to myself but doing alright socially. Lately I have been pretty happy with things. So life is good.
Challenging myself....hmmm. I guess I do. I really feel best after helping someone in need. I don't need or want thanks. I don't think I feel that by helping them I am in some way better than they are. Often I find out that though they are in a low position in society, they can be very smart and at one time were in good positions. Yet somehow they do not quite fit in society. Does this also describe me? Anyhow I just feel good after giving someone assistance to make their life better. So I do challenge myself to be more considerate of others. I like most people tend to be self centred and so this is a challenge for me that I think helps me be me and definitely makes me happy.
I am glad to see that you are posting again. I love reading about you life and hope that you continue to find ways to improve your world.
Once again, deep thoughts by Mike.:)
Delete"As the song says 'Everything that kills me - makes me feel alive' "
I love this song specifically for that line because I feel it had been my definition for a long time. I am trying to break free from this distorted view of life and be better to myself. I, too, use alcohol to be "calmer" yet I see lately that that is not what's really going on; its really an attempt to numb myself. Maybe, I'll do a post on this soon.
It sounds like you do a lot of good in your community. I work with middle school age kids and love my work. It is hard yet exceptionally rewarding. I do see that challenge of this work and feel like I can learn from my work to help with my personal life. Hey, maybe I'll write a post about that, too.
Thanks, Mike for commenting and always making me think and rethink things. Hope all is well! :)
All the things I do that's not good for me:
ReplyDelete-snack too much, watch too much TV, spend too much time blogging watching you-tube.
I avoid ding more exercise, maybe because I'm:
lazy, no exercise buddies
Poppy, thank you so much for commenting!
DeleteSounds like we share a few things we do that are not good for us- snacking too much, too much TV, too much internet, not enough exercise.
I wonder if these are a result of childhood trauma, no matter how small or how big, that give people the desire to do things that are not good for them. We should all work on loving ourselves better. :)
Thanks for sharing some of yourself! :)