Being An Adult

Hello all!! Its been a little bit since I have written; we have been out enjoying the world camping again. Had a great time, even though it was not as warm as it was the first time we went camping a couple of weeks ago. One of the reasons it was so great was an agreement we made with each other 5 to 6 weeks ago.

William and I made this agreement, which is a solution to an issue we have struggled with our entire relationship.  Basically we would agreed to be equally responsible for the issue in a way that left no  room for misunderstanding. Now, we have agreed to other things in the past, but I have not have followed through with my part of the deals. This happened for many reasons I do not need to go into (my personal problems). But this time, this deal, I have been doing my part and it has greatly bettered our relationship. It has not been hard; in fact, it has been easy and enjoyable. I look forward to my turn in our deal. It has been a month or so since we started and its going strong!!

Since that agreement we made one other agreement about keeping up our house better. Nothing major just if you take it out, put it away. Sounds so simple yet we just tended to leave stuff out for longer than it needed to be out. Then over time we'd look around and find the house all sorts of cluttered and need to spend time cleaning up after ourselves, putting stuff away that we should have just put away after we used it. We have been both doing this for a few weeks now and it is awesome. I find I have time to do more things every day because I am not looking around and needing to pick stuff up.

Being an adult requires agreements with oneself, and with others. Looking at myself, I have seen that I have not been an adult. I have not been willing to make and stick to any sort of agreements, as though I would be selling myself out by doing so. Instead I have found it to be liberating. I am not stupid and think I will be perfect at this agreement thing right away but I will get better.

Following Through

Ok so a bit ago William suggested that we got to LA for a day trip to do a few things like Nadine trying on wigs she's interested in, and going to Chinatown to get lunch. At first I was reluctant but then I thought about what I could do there too. After many months of researching dress forms, I thought it would be a good idea to look at some in person and figured LA would be a good place to look around.

With William's help, I found a couple of places to go look around. We went to LA, and Nadine tried on several wigs to help in her research of which one to buy next, which was fun! Then we went to look at dress forms at a dress form company, PGM Pro. I was able to ask tons on questions and got them all answered. The associate was extremely helpful and friendly. As we were there, she showed us a "floor model" which was a regular dress form with a defect. I was thinking, "I don't want a dress form with a defect." Then she showed us the defect, and it was so ridiculously small that I was shocked when she told me it was half price.  After I asked more questions and took a picture of the dress form floor model, we left and went to the car. At the car we discussed it, and even though I had no intentions of buying, we decided it was too great of a deal to pass up. So we went back, and I bought it!!! I am so happy !! I have been wanting this for a long time and am thrilled to find the dress form I found and at such a great price!

Now, I understand that with great purchases comes great responsibility (to steal from Spiderman). I bought this dress form and now I have to prove to myself that it was worth the money. I already have cloth pinned on it, and I really want to show myself that I can follow through with what I start!!

Hope you're well!! Hugs!!!

Trying Something New

William and I went camping last week for 5 days. It was fantastic! Days were spent fishing, eating, swimming, kicking back, rafting, and playing games. We decided to stop and stay at a spot down a little hill on the side of the road, not  a "real" camp site but clearly a place people had stayed before. It really was set up as though it was meant for us and our camping gear. 

We both really enjoy fishing and this spot was right on the river. There was a sweet fishing spot that we kept getting fish from right down at the river by our spot. I caught some fish and strung them so they could stay alive in the river. I kept fishing and checked on my fish later. They died and where being eaten by crayfish. I kinda got mad and shooed them away. I took the fish, and we fed them to the dog. The next day, I caught another fish, and it too got eaten by crayfish. Then it occurred to me; I am out there fishing for food so why not fish for crayfish. I left the fish in the water and netted 4 crayfish. I had to sneak up and come at them from behind because I discovered they swim backwards. Having caught these things, I had to cook them, which I knew nothing about. 

I figured I could boil them like little lobsters, and it worked out pretty good. We had boiled crayfish with garlic butter and it was pretty good!!

It was really joyful to try something so out of my box, and I am encouraged to do more. :) 

Do you try things out of your box??

Making Sure I Do What I Want To Do

It seems odd when I think about not doing things I want to do. I mean why would someone not do what they like to do. Yet I find myself not following through with the things I say I want to do in life.

My contract with myself, my list of personal responsibilities, is helping me to look at what I am doing every day. I have only been doing it for 4 days and know it will take some time to really have some good, solid data about how I spend my time. So far, I have seen that I do not do all the things I think I do, and I could do more with each day if I planned my time better. Yet I have also been able to see that I am productive and do want to feel good with myself at the end of each day.

Apparently, I have had the desire inside of me all along yet I have been too busy being hurt and upset to notice. Although I am upset with myself for not being willing accept and deal with the sadness and anger before now, I am thrilled that I can now see that I do want; yes just want.

Time will show where I go with this. I will keep you updated on the path this takes me on. :)

First Weight Update

Its been about a month since I posted the first pictures and discussion about my weight. I thought it was about time to give an update. Since the last posting about my weight, I have lost 5 lbs. I am happy that I lost some weight, and I think I look a little better. :)

Yet if I had really dedicated myself to losing weight, I could have lost more.

What I am focusing on, with weight being one piece, is my own contract with myself. We all choose what we are responsible for whether or not we actually follow through with those choices. Weight is on my self made list of responsibilities whether I pay attention to it or not. Its on my mind somewhere which means I care about it. Therefore, my personal happiness requires me to pay attention and do something about my weight, and the other things on my list.

The path the my happiness:

             choose to care about what I care about by doing something about the things I care about.:)

Hope you're well!! Thanks for visiting!

Hugs!!