Boxes

Have you ever considered boxes? I know what you're thinking, boxes?

I have lived most of my life in boxes that I have in my mind about what is okay to do, think, ways to act, etc. It has been weird to come to a point in my life when  have seen that I have not allowed myself to live fully because of these boxes. Where did these boxes come from? I think many places but really that is not relevant. Because past a certain point, I was the one keeping myself in the boxes, no one else.

So this comes up because I have just started to push against these boxes. Yesterday I wore cutlets (bra inserts) to work. I was so sure some one was going to say something, But I decided because I was afraid of it, I had to do it. And I did. End result? I loved being very aware of my great boobs all day, and no one acted any differently than usual. :) Today, in the morning, it occurred to me that I never wear sexy underwear to work. I always thought I would not enjoy it or I shouldn't. So I did today. And once again, I was proven to be wrong. I felt lovely all day. 

In addition, I decided to start looking at the clothes I have and getting rid of or altering the things I have that I don't really like. I have gotten rid of a few things already and have alter one thing. 

Being responsible for my own happiness has seemed like something out of my own reach, oddly, like I shouldn't question the boxes because they were me. The boxes defined me instead of me defining me, and maybe redefining me again and again :)

I have many other boxes to push open and finally  I believe I can.