This is one of my outfit I think looks pretty good.
Yesterday was an interesting day because I got rid of tons of clothes; probably the most I have ever gotten rid of at one time. My husband and I have been talking a lot about clothes and fit, and how that relates to feeling good about oneself. So he suggested we drink some tequila and go through our closets and see what stuff we have that doesn’t do anything for our bodies and get rid of them.
As I have stated before, I haven’t really cared much about myself over the years; as a results, many of my clothes do not flatter me. Getting dressed is not so much fun and thus I don’t feel good about how I look. Yet I have been so unwilling to make the effort.
And what effort you might ask? There are several areas to which this is connected that I have never taken responsible for.
First, I have never taken the time to pay attention to my shape and what kinds of clothes fit my shape best. Growing up in an angry (and non-fashion) household did not give me any kind of start on this and then as I got older, I became more and more disinterested in life, which directly showed in my clothing.
Second, I have not cared enough to get to and keep myself at a weight that is constant, which makes clothes buying a problem. It is expensive to need to have new clothes often because of weight changes. So usually I just buy whatever I can find that fits okay and is fairly inexpensive.
Third, I have been ashamed of my curves and my boobs since I grew them. It’s not like I actively wore stuff to hide myself like muumuus, but I rarely show off my cleavage or that I have a nice hour glass figure. The majority of the time I wear clothes that fit but do nothing for my shape.
Mostly I think that I have been unwilling to move past being hurt as a little one. That hurt turned into depression and apathy, which has allowed me check out of the fashion\fitness world. But I am on my way away from that.
I went through all of my bras, dresses, skirts, and sweaters. I will continue to go through my stuff and getting rid of more that does not work. In the future, I plan to make a much bigger effort to make my body more fit and to try on clothes a lot more often. Nadine and I often go to clothing stores, and I will now take the opportunity to try stuff on. The world is full of clothes I never even tried on and now, I want to see what those clothes look like on me. J
I was impressed while at TJMaxx you decided to try on bras, even though you said you really didn't know if you wanted to do that. But you did anyways. Good for you!
ReplyDeleteI was thinking earlier today that we should try and go someplace with someone that could fit you properly. But maybe until then we should go to one of our local places and not just try on different bras, but to try on different sizes. I'll go whenever you want!
Love ya.
Thanks so much for the kind comments. I totally want to go have a bra fitting after trying on all my bras and seeing how they fit. We'll have to share the experience after doing that.
ReplyDeleteI think I want to try on all sorts of new things now, including new kinds and sizes of bras!!
Jules,
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the blogosphere. I just popped over from Nadine's blog and read your prior entries.
I think that you will find the blogging experience helpful, strengthing and affirming. As a closeted CD I find that my need for affirmation is assuaged by reading blogs of others and on occasion adding my thoughts and comments and in the process sharing a little of myself with others.
From reading your posts and following Nadine's blog I must comment that you seem like a wonderful person. I think that having a blog like this will afford you a sense of affirmation that so many seek.
I have written to other CDs who seem to get lost in looking for reasons that we are who we are and trying to ferret out why we have this predeliction that seems contrary to the mainstream. In the end I have decided that I should be happy for myself for all of the blessings that I have and all of the good things that exist in the world around me. While not the most observant of practicioners I do believe in a higher authority and I accept that we are children of God and we are made in his image and likeness and that God does not make mistakes.
I wish you peace and success and that you learn to love yourself and learn to let others love you.
Pax
Pat
I really appreciate the amazingly thoughtful words! The encouragement I have already gotten is inspiring, and I am excited about the future for the first time in a long time. :)
Deletemiss jules, if that picture is any indication of what you presently look like, you are lovely indeed. it pains me to see so many women who have never had a good self image of themselves. you look amazing in that outfit and i hope you don't purge everything! you probably look equally stunning in many of your outfits and i hope you feel good enough about yourself to believe it! hopefully your hubby can help fan the fires of encouragement! :)
ReplyDeleteWow, thank you so much for the encouraging words! I am so blessed a husband who has always been supportive and encouraging. It has been me who has resisted embracing myself and doing the best possible for me.
Deleteyou are most welcome miss jules! good for him and good for you for finally seeing yourself in the same light that he (and i dare say the rest of us) see you in! embrace, be happy with yourself, blossom and continue to grow!
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