Friday, June 6, 2014
Visiting My Parents
I am on a road trip with my spouse right now, and we are visiting both of my parents. My mom lives near San Francisco, and my dad and his wife live in southern Oregon which means that to visit them both in one trip meant a week long road trip for us.
We visited my mom first and spent about 2 days with her. We had a very nice time visiting and sharing our lives with each other. Yet, it was so odd; I saw so many things she was doing that I am working on changing in me, i.e. making little things into catastrophes, saying that something in the future will for sure turn out bad, that people are out to screw her over, etc. She has been like this for years, yet it really stood out to me this time.
Then we came to visit my dad yesterday. We spent the last 2 days with him and his wife. Once again, I saw things he was saying striking me oddly. He said things that I have said that I think are my beliefs about myself like he noted that he always liked my hair short.
So what struck me so odd about what my parents said or how they acted was how many of those things I have associated with who I am. I have been telling myself that these traits are me and should be accepted as me, but it was creepy to hear my parents say these things, knowing what I have said and done in the past.
This is eye-opening for me. I would like to not be a collection of who my parents are; I want to be my own person. It is important for me to be aware that these ways of thinking and acting are not me but the behaviors and thoughts I learned from my parents. Yes, I have continued doing these things and believing these things, and it is now my responsibility to change them if I truly do not believe those things are true or right for me.
On another note, after hanging out with both of my parents, I realized I actually like both of them. For most of my adult life, I have said I don't really like my parents and that I did not want to spend time them, but this time, I felt differently. When I left each of them, I felt sad and felt like I want to see them again instead of just relieved to be done visiting them. Hhhmm fascinating how life changes. :)
Alrighty then people, hope you are taking care of you!