Today was the first day of my road trip and it went pretty good. After having lunch with Nadine and switching cars, I drove for a while then got a room. It was kind of hard to force myself to go out somewhere to eat, but I did. I also decided to see a movie. I was a little early so I sat and listened to a band playing outside the movie theater.
It was an odd experience. I enjoyed the whole evening: the food was good, the band was fun, and the movie was funny, but I really felt something was missing the whole time. It was someone to share with. I found myself going to say something, or share something, but I had no one to talk to or share with. In the past, when I had times by myself and felt this, I just got sad. But I am trying to look at this objectively this time to try to learn something about myself. So this time when I saw I was looking for William to share with or talk to, I looked at myself and realized this shows I do want a partner, and a companion. In the past, I have acted in ways that indicated I wanted to be alone, as though sometimes I am just annoyed with having someone around. I am really questioning that today on a whole new level. I am really thinking that this attitude of wanting to be alone is part of my fixed mindset; I have thought for so long that wanting to be alone was part of my personality. Ahhhh fixed mindset!
Since today is the first day out and about, that's all I have to say so far. I'll be back. (hee-hee)
Hugs!!
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